Of Tennis Balls and Wine Glasses
by scottiegal2012
Summary: The newest addition to my Alpha Quadrant Series. KJ is finally having her long avoided talk with Mark. Who will she come home to when she feels like falling apart? Of course it's J/C, that was sucha  teast. Please R


Story: "Of Tennis Balls and Wine Glasses" USS _Voyager _NCC-74656:Alpha Quadrant Series

Characters: Mark, Kathryn, Chakotay

Rating: K

Summery: Kathryn is facing the conversation she's been dreading. When it's all over, who'll be the last man standing?

Disclaimer: **General Disclaimer: Paramount, the Roddenberry Estate, and Mr.'s Berman, Braga, Ms. Taylor own rights and privileges to continuity, schematics, character profiles, etc. I just play in their world, which I believe they don't mind. They love their fans.

Every time she swung the racket, she missed. "Damn!"

Mark laughed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm playing tennis!" She yelled back before throwing her racket down next to the fence and slumping against it, downing 16 ounces of water in 7 seconds flat. "Why did I agree to this?"

He laughed again, coming over to where she was. "First, that was _not_ tennis. Second because you said, and I quote 'it would be a good place for you and I to talk things out'." He sat on the bench near the gate and watched her.

"So I did. Smack me next time." She slid down the fence to the ground, frightening several ants who were scurrying about the water droplets that had missed her mouth.

"I don't think it was such a bad idea. I'm winning." He laughed and set his racket on his knee. "Besides, you've been home three years now and the most I get is a 'hello' as you and your mother walk by. We do need to talk."

"You know how much I despise _talking_. Feelings are not my thing."

"We can blame that Vulcan friend of yours." He reached his hand out for hers. "I also know what you've been through, with … guys."

She stared it down for a moment before taking it carefully in her significantly smaller hand. "I don't hold this against you. Of course I wasn't exactly prepared for the first thing I hear from home being that my fiancé was married… _happily_. I didn't take it too well… the crew insists I did. Most of them didn't hear about it until much later and my first officer insisted I wasn't okay, but… he had no proof otherwise." She stopped, feeling like she was rambling on.

"In another life, you and I would have been perfect together. But now… what Carla and I have is pretty amazing… I wouldn't trade it for anything." He felt bad saying it, but they were here to be honest with each other.

"I'd do my life over the same way too, in spite of the pain it's caused." She was still holding his hand and she squeezed it gently before letting go. "I thought I still wanted you, but you're not the you I left… and I'm not the me who left you."

He watched her stand up, seeing the weakness, seeing her ready to break and knowing how close to the emotional edge she was inching. "And…?"

"What I want is a _family_. I want to have children and to have that… It's just not feasible…"

He sat silently waiting for her to go on.

"It's only my fault. The games I've played with myself. If I'd just gotten up and moved on when Justin died instead of spending all those years in regret maybe I would have loved you sooner, or…"

"Married me right away? Settled down and had children? And than what, Kath? When you vanished in the Badlands they'd have been motherless. Would it have been worth it just to say you had a family, had children?"

She felt like crying, standing in the tennis complex, arms tight across her chest with her married ex-fiancé staring at her. Her voice was low, not quite audible anymore. "No, that would have killed me. Many of the crew left young children behind and… I felt guilty being responsible for _that_ let alone my own." She managed to whisper through the building tears. How many times had she laid on Voyager thankful exactly that hadn't happened?

"Kath, you'll find somebody… someone who will take care of you and love you more than anyone else can. You just need to focus on you for a change, and it will happen." He stood up and rested his hand on her arm. He wanted to hug her and make the tears go away, but he was afraid… no he was dead certain he'd go too far. She was always his first love, from when he was 12 years old he had a crush on her, but he would _not_ do that to Carla. "Come on, it's obvious you haven't played in a long time, you need to get at least one game in."

She nodded and reached for her racket and crossed to the opposite side. "You know, I did try it briefly in my ready room on Voyager."

"How'd that go?" He crouched slightly at the knees ready to run for whatever made it over the net.

She wiped the last of the tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt and grinned. "Almost took Tuvok out."

He grinned and laughed as she missed the ball trying to serve.

"You're such a great friend!" She stuck her tongue out before hitting the ball clear over his head and into the basketball section of the complex.

"At least you hit it that time." He stood with his hands on his hips as he watched the students from the nearby elementary school go after the ball for them.

"All due respect, Ma'am… you're not very good." The kid sent it flying back over the fence.

Kathryn sighed and shrugged. "Remember how badly I wanted out?"

He laughed and nodded. "I remember you were eight. You quit-right here!"

Kathryn stepped off the transporter pad in San Francisco and smiled softly as she saw Chakotay standing there with his arms held open to her. She dropped her bag on the ground and slowly wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. Not the quick hug she usually gave her best friend. "I thought you left the system last week?"

"I did, and than I heard a rumor that you might need a hug at approximately this time today." He was holding her as tightly as he could manage without hurting her, his arms firm around her waist.

She leaned back to look up into his eyes. "You've been talking to my mother."

"Guilty. You've been crying." His voice was very soft as he said it.

"Have not." She laughed a little and nodded slowly. "It's not been a pleasant day."

He picked her bag up and hung his arm around her shoulder. "Come back to my place for dinner, I've got wine and a roast thing _I certainly_ won't be eating."

She grinned up at him. "So, what _will_ you be eating."

"I've got a nice salad and some baked potatoes."

"Oh, I've missed our dinners." She whispered as they walked the two blocks to his apartment.

"I only miss you." His kiss on the side of her forehead caught her off guard and she pulled back. "Ssh… it's harmless." He grinned and protectively wrapped his arm down around her waist instead.

"If you insist." She walked with him into his place. "I guess I'm feeling a little insecure given my day."

He knew it all. Gretchen Janeway had left not a single detail out. He activated the lights and took her hand, escorting her to the couch gracefully where wine and two glasses sat, a lit candle in the center.

"So, what would you have done if I said no?"

"Begged." He laughed and poured the wine, handing her one. "What will we drink to, Kathryn?"

She thought a moment. "How about… just for the sake of sharing a drink?"

"To us than." He grinned.

"Smart ass." She clinked her glass against his and slowly downed the first sip in one long moment. "Chakotay, seeing you always means feeling better about whatever awful day I've had."

He set his glass down and rested his hand on her knee. "Did it go okay?"

"Did she tell you everything?" She waved it off as soon as she spoke it. Of course she did, she was _Gretchen Janeway_. "_It_ went as I expected it to. I faked a lot of smiles to start and than I had a practical meltdown."

"In front of him?"

"I went in ready to show him I was fine."

"But you're not?" He stared at her, watching her blue eyes moisten as she fought more tears.

"I am… I've moved past him… it's _not_ him." She sighed and held her hands out in exasperation. "I want a family, a home, children… what I was _supposed_ to have had ten years ago… TWENTY!"

He nodded, knowing just barely enough about her engagement to Justin Tighe to know she missed out on this twice. "Do you feel betrayed?"

"Whatever I told you on Voyager when I got that letter… I wasn't fine, I did feel betrayed and abandoned, but I also knew it wasn't his fault. So I moved on. I really did."

"Anything else?"

"No." She sighed. "Bet you're sick of hearing me whine about it?"

He shook his head and tightened his grip on her knee. "Not at all, I was just wondering if you were hungry. I can turn the cooking console up."

"You have a _real_ cooking console?"

He laughed hard. "Yes… I like to cook, remember?"

She nodded. "I'm not really hungry, not if you haven't already started it." All she really wanted to do was finish the bottle of wine and fall asleep on his shoulder.

"Than I'll say I haven't." He poured another glass for each and leaned back, sliding his arm over the back of the couch.

She slid her shoes off and curled her legs under her, leaning against him.

"Feeling better?"

"Safer, anyway." She grinned up at him, resting her chin on his chest so she could look at him. "Have you met anyone?"

He set his wine to the side and rested his free hand on the arm that was resting on his stomach. "Since Seven? Just one, but it's a game of hard to get."

"Even though you keep showing her how much you care?" She was blushing, knowing since that day on New Earth that he wanted to be with her. "It's not a game… I'd never do that to you…"

"Oh, I know… you're afraid of giving yourself a third try… I respect that."

"If something happened -"

He silenced her whisper with his finger pressed against her lips. "It's quite simple. You're not my Captain anymore. So Kathryn, do you love me?"

She waited until he moved his finger from her lips to sit up off of him. "Do I? More than I ever imagined. But-"

He stopped her again, but this time with his hand tight on her wrist. "Isn't that all we need?"

She looked down at the shoes on the ground. She'd been running from him for years. She couldn't keep running, not if she wanted the happiness she knew she'd find with him. She pulled her wrist away from him and touched his cheek softly. "Yes."

He leaned forward, just slightly. He wouldn't push her to this.

He didn't have to, she closed the distance and kissed him gently. And than passionately, feeling his tongue against hers for just a breath.

When they pulled away for air he found her hands with his. "Hi."

She couldn't help but grin at him. "Hello."

He stood and took one hand tight in his. "It hasn't gotten very cold… I have a beautiful view."

She let him lead her out onto the balcony and laughed as he grabbed a quilt that was hung off a coat hook near the door. The single lounge chair was perfect, he sat and hung his legs off either side so she could sit in front of him.

"I don't bite." He laughed feeling her warm body almost melt against his as she leaned into him. He pulled the blanket over them both and moved his legs back onto the chair to provide a snug safe place for her. "Stay with me?"

"So soon?" She teased.

"You moved in with Jaffin after only a week!" He feigned hurt as he wrapped his arms tight around her. "I mean tonight… or as long as you like, but I don't want you to go home yet."

She tilted her head back and smiled up at him. "Give me time with this, but tonight… tonight I'll stay. When do you leave?"

"I've decided to take my leave now. Four months. Than I'll have a six month stint at the Romulan Neutral Zone."

"Exciting." She pushed herself up with her feet so her lips could brush against his. "You do know…" She breathed almost into his mouth. "You're taking advantage of me when I'm vulnerable."

"Oh I _know_ I am." He smiled. "Kathryn?"

"Hmm…?"

"After what happened at Harry's wedding… let's not tell Tom."

She grinned, feeling silly at how wide it spread. "He'll think he won some terribly important bet or something."

"Better now?" He rested his chin on her head, breathing in her scent.

"I've finally let go of me and let you in. Nothing could make me happier."


End file.
